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Hey Guys... I've moved my blog to https://beautifullyodd.me Check out my latest stuff and find us on fb as BeautifullyODD

i know

i know... I said I was back and I've been gone just as long as the time's' before. This is one of the reasons why I didn't want to start this until I was fully ready to make the commitment. But even then... I have no regrets. I do wish and even hope that one day I will be able to fully commit to the time that is needed to redeem and even accelerate the dynamics of this here blog. But till then... your stuck wit me... this... the uncertainty of what it means to be BeautifullyODD.

As some of you may know... a lot of things have happened, as always, and I decided to go back to school after a long conversation with a good friend. Though I felt that art school was not a possible option for myself... I decided to go back to community college to obtain my Graphic Design and Illustration degree at Sierra College. And let me tell you... I have learned so much within the past three weeks, than I will have ever learned in attending an "Ivy League Art School" for the price of free99. (it has cost and i will get to that) but in the end the cost of me attending this school compared to an "expensive" art school... where I would have to repay 80grand+ back in school loans is incomparable.

I do want to make one thing clear... as inconsistent as this blog has been, as inconsistent as I have been in trying to pull everything together... the opportunity I have now and the ability to learn as much as I have and will (considering this is only my first semester back in school after graduating in photo. and it only being the third or so week in school) has allowed me to take my dreams to a whole notha level. I feel as if the knowledge alone, will not only give me the potential to grow and follow my dreams, but actually allow me to make something substantial.

As I stated earlier... there is cost. But as my cousin said... "I'm on a budget... its a recession" and I just cannot except the idea of spending HELLA money on going to an art school when I can be investing that same money in my ideas, my hopes and dreams. Yes, you have to invest in yourself... and I believe that is what I am doing. But I ain't rich. Are you going to pay for my schooling? I didn't think so. So... I feel as I have made the best alternative decision possible and I am so excited about the little adventure I am taking.

Which brings me to the next big thing... and I probably shouldn't comment to much on it because I am a conspirator... I have come across some money that will allow me to breathe again and continue to invest in my art and dreams. I would and if I could even explain the dynamics of my hopes, my ideas... but I feel so secretive with them... theIr Golden. And though my ideas or hopes may not stand out amongst the millions of other artist influencing our world... I'm one more... hopefully one that can and will find her voice... and be able to influence the nation.

a few steps away from glory
not dependent on society as much as much as i'm dependent on myself.
the key is in my hand... i stand there... seconds away from slipping it into the lock
a twist away from my destiny.
and yet this very moment is what counts. regardless of, what i like to call circumstancial responsibilities, right now... i truly feel like anything and everything is beyond possible.
but it won't happen till i unlock the door...
fuck fear... i'm just ready to be happy
and i think i've chosen the right door... i know i have
a twist away from my fate
this is my life...
ill love it till the end of time

love me
beautifullyODD
ps. i'm still here... went on vacation, been busy and as Arnold says... "I'll be back." :)

What makes ME an Artist?

"There is so much I want and need to say and yet just do. A lot has happened in these past few months. And I don't know where to begin. Pieces of me come forth in my art and I try to grasp the moments and express them as well as I can before they disappear back into the dark void."



On a brighter note :D I have every intention in posting the continuation to I'm back (I need to make some corrections and add some things). But right now I want to share somethin else:

During this much needed break I asked myself...
"What makes me an ArTiST?": the word Artist holds so much acclaim to me. I remember getting into a debate with one of my photography teachers about; What makes your work, art? The debate was that it takes another person, to say your work is art; You can not say that your own work is art unless it has been given that name by someone else. I was furious. How can you tell someone that their work is not art?

Art is based in expression and though their is a grade level of quality attached to it, its rooted in the meaning and the feeling that comes from it. Why else can someone hang a blank canvas on a museum wall and it be deemed art. Being an artist is about being true to the moment and its an expression of who we are as individuals and as a whole.

Anyway... I think before I held to much pressure on myself to be what I considered a great artist; I doubted my abilities because of it. Their are so many types and forms of artistic expression and which ever way I choose to do so I want to do with confidence and belief in thy self. But I still questioned and wondered what makes me an artist... why should I even continue down this avenue... am I even good?

As I spring cleaned my apartment I came across old sketch books, my old animation portfolio, paintings, memories and other miscellaneous things that showed me that, Art is a part of who I am. So as I looked back at my artistic life, though not every attempt was successful, I did have some good moments. And to be able to recognize that was freeing. I realized that regardless of where I go with my artistic adventure I'm going to enjoy it. It's not about the acclaim its about enjoying the journey with it. That is why I am excited about going back to school for applied art & design. I just want to enjoy the journey with it. See where it takes me... because I never want to say I turned my back on it because I was afraid I'd never have someone else say its so.

So, be confident in who you are as an artist. Enjoy the journey, enjoy those moments, and let it nurture your soul.

I am back...

As some of you know... I've taken a much needed break from blogging and doing my art. It was hard to walk away from it for as long as I have but I'm officially back. There came a point a few months back when I realized some changes needed to seriously be made if I were going to continue on this journey. It's even hard now, writing this, knowing and hoping my blog could be ten times better than it is now. But because I have gotten back into my art after a much needed break, I have to share some of the things I've been doing and where this is all going.

After holding my first tangible product for my product line I realized, "Shit! If you really apply yourself, believe in your talent, focused your time and energy towards this dream, and get your ish together you could actually make 'this' happen." It was this grand epiphany that startled me to my core and made me think twice about where I was headed. And though I was able to wear the ear rings I made, they still were not up to my standards. But I knew with a little fine tuning, practice, a lot of patience, and will power; something could come from this. But that of its own was to much for me to handle. The pressure and the idea that each thing I made had to be amazing was like a dump truck attached to my heart. Plus it was time for some MAJOR spring cleaning.

So first thing first was cleaning up my messy apartment. I have so much art stuff (believe i may have explained this before... idk) that its in my kitchen cabinets, under my futon, in both hall closets, in my bedroom, and in my dining room. The only places unoccupied are my bedroom closet and bathroom. And if my enlarger wasn't the size of a television I'd probably have it in the bathroom. But it was just so unorganized in my tiny apartment; with dishes, clothes, and other crap strewn around I was two steps away from losin it. It literally took weeks to clean. (Trust... I got OCD... if your like me you have an accumulation of art supplies: paints, stamps, assorted papers in shoe boxes and tubs, books, utensils, research, and etc.) But the end result is priceless. Back in October I started purchasing materials for my art space in my bedroom. First I purchased my board and desk and just in May my chair. It took months to make it what it is now. But I am truly happy that I am now able to sit there every day after work and do my Art work. It's a constant motivation.

This is getting long... Next: it's one thing to spring clean your home and organize all of your art stuff but it's another thing to spring clean your mind, body and soul.

what is BeautifullyOdd?

I'm almost there... a few steps away to a new phase of my life. Still much to do. But I can feel a change coming. A change that I must embrace with an open heart and mind. Scary; But thrilling. I have this crazy amount of faith I'm trying to develop. You see... I'm in no way... quote one quote... normal. And that's what BeautifullyOdd is all about. It's for any person who thinks they have to be someone else to be beautiful; To think that they have to be a perfect size or have great skin and amazing hair. BeautifullyOdd is for the chicks that seem a little crazy and are boldly different by choice. BeautifullyOdd is who I am. I'm representin for the girls wit dreams... who dare to be themselves... who dare to be BeautifullyOdd.

xoxo
Olisa Rachele

Leave...

I get the urge to leave a lot. To just get in my car and go. Sometimes I drive for hours, just so that I can leave my troubles behind. I love the way it feels; the air blowing on my face, the cruising, the time to clear my head, the ability... to see more. (exhale)

Something in me is changing or maybe I'm just finding a piece of me that I buried away many years ago when I couldn't afford to slow down. I haven't been working. It's still calling my name, but I needed a break. I was extremely serious about the previous post. Last weekend I started to see the bigger picture. I started to see what my hard work and determination would create. And though I have my ups and downs; I know and firmly believe that I can be successful. It took a great second to even come to this part of my revelation but I'm seriously spring cleaning my soul and my apartment. I've been walking around blindly since I graduated. It will be a damn year this May. Crazy. (and I got up to check just to make sure I wasn't losing my mind). But I mention all this because my heart is vying for my attention. My need for order and peace is busting through the hinges.

I've been enjoying the weather, sitting on my balcaony with tea and a good book. Just relaxing. And today I realized I really need to organize my art stuff. It's everywhere. I have a small place but I have stuff in my kitchen cabinets, under my futon in the living room and my dining area is where my computer is. I have photo stuff tucked away in the hallway closet, in another one I have books, paints and more, then I have a desk in my bedroom that contains more stuff like rulers and etc. But it's ridiculous. I cannot afford a second bedroom right now so after a week in here its all mayhem and fullishness. But in the midst of it all I realized that I need a clean, organized work space. I will just have to pick up whatever I do the night before and put it away. I can't let it get ridiculous in here.

But besides all that my spirit is just regrouping. I'm refilling my brain and heart with positivity. Working and reading books like, "Think and Grow Rich", by Napoleon Hill. Amongst the photography books, inspirational success stories, and educational info, I'm just preparing myself. It's bout to initially start; I think after my bday... MAY 27 :) It seems far but time goes fast... like I said, a year! It has been successful. A lot has happened. But I'm content, grateful, and just ready to proceed. So... I'll do some updates in between... I'll probably post notes... just info I come across that I think is important.

Spring Cleaning

I do not have the pleasure of knowing a lot of artist on a personal basis. So as I take on this artistic journey, I'm doing so from the very beginning stages. I do have a degree in photography and have been exposed to many different art mediums; But that does not make me "educated" or great. Though I have the AA, I'm not the brightest crayon in the box. Yes, I know a few things but I can't tell you every vocabulary term for photography and I still haven't wrapped my head around "exposure equations." As I embark on this journey, I'm starting from scratch.

In the last couple of weeks I've realized what it will take for me to get to my mountain top. And let me tell you I lost my mind in trying to figure it out...

It can be difficult to find someone to relate to artistically. Someone with whom you can genuinely share a healthy artful relationship; Encouraging, and helping each other out. I believe it's important to have some one their to tell you where you can improve and encourage you to do your best, push you to excel, and remind you to believe in yourself.

Us artist are EMOTIONAL! At least I am. Which means I need to look into art community groups on line because I'm not trying to end up like Edgar Allen Poe or Van Gogh. I don't want there to be any debate on whether or not I cut my ear off (wtheck). And this is where I mention, after losing my mind, I finally had my epiphany.

I became frustrated with my art the other day and I realized that my art is the last thing that should be making me want to pull my hair out. Why do it? Why attempt to if its going to make me feel horrible? But I didn't let the thought linger, I brushed it away because I know I can never walk away from it. But why was I upset? This may sound crazy, but hey, I believe us artist have deep souls. We see things differently, we feel things with heightened senses. We notice the little things: like the way the leaves blow, and how the wind feels when it brushes our skin, we see this connection to another dimension. We feel inclined to tell its story, in one form or another, we try. We try to find the light with in. So... I realized my light was dim. It wasn't connecting to my art. I was losing the connection; my ability to see.

This didn't happen over night. I had allowed it to slip away from me years ago. I was reading Oprah's magazine (I'm not her biggest fan but the poetry issue was really good.) and they did an interview with Mary Oliver. She is an amazing poet, you must read "The Journey", AmAzing. But at the end of her interview I just felt my spirit open. My spirit is my compass, my eye, my ability to do my art. And to read Mary Oliver's story was truly inspiring. She made me remember why it is I do what I do. Why I am who I am. It truly touched me.

In conclusion, I realized my spirit needs loving. It needs to breathe... it needs me. I don't want to lose this connection. I want to grow old and be able to inspire many. To have a heart, a spirit, that shines brilliantly. In order to be TRUE to my art, I need a TRUE connection with my spirit.

Olisa Rachele
BeautifullyODD

The reason I smile in the end...

God is teaching me a lot about myself. He is molding, pruning, healing, fixing... ME. I say all this because I had a crazy week at work and a very progressive week in my Art.

Work... whatever. If you ever worked in an office I'm sure you already know! But the reason I mention it is because I know that at the end of the day, I can't let NO one steal my thunder. Work will always be just work. You have to do it! I NEED my paycheck! So, we put up wit it cause we have to survive. I'm willing to continue to do and magnify my best. Bottom line...

sO with all that mess to the side coming home was like heaven! hahahaha And let me tell you I am so proud to say that my earrings were a success! I'm really excited to continue on with that project. Trust me, it was not planned. I have two paintings going, photos to edit, and tutorials that I need to really dig deep in.

The EARRINGS: I purchased a ring years ago that had tiny stone settings. Well, all the stones fell out. I had planned years ago to fill in the gaps with polymer clay. Well as I was messing around with the clay... I got the earring idea. So I have been making my own beads.

Paintings: one is still in progress and the other one is staring at me blankly... (don't know what I want to do with it.)

What made me really smile today is that I went and bought more supplies. Couldn't afford to but had the itch. I spent $19.94 on paint, five batches of clay, two canvas' and one tiny box of sterling earring hooks. (figured i'd buy the expensive box of sterling hooks then the big box which was cheaper and had more hooks so that I could improve quality. at least in the long run.) I saved $9.94. It may sound crazy to be excited over my savings and purchases but I decided that today is the day I save my receipt. And for all those business owners... you know what I mean. It's going on the wall! I do not have my business license yet but it will all work out in time.

So, this weekend will be very productive. Much to do. A painting to finish, earrings to mold and bake, research and studying, photos to edit and some tutorials to work on.

(keep ya posted)
Olisa Rachele
BeautifullyODD

(suppose to be posted on Friday) didn't have time to take pics

Gold

At what point, does one notice, their life has gone array?
At what point, do they close their eyes, ignoring their inner conscience; and embracing their old ways?
At what point in time, do they realize that, that one little thing would set off a course of chain reactions, which would then effect and become the sum of their own life.

Granted, we are all aloud re-starts, but to obtain one we have to learn something empirically beyond our own reach and grasp. Their it dangles, like a bee spreading its pollen. So dangerously close, like warm honey poured onto your heart.

At which moment did I fuck up all this to begin with. If I was given a choice in any of this, I'd like to know, to which point did I so EPICALLY screw the fuck up. It would be nice to know. I get the whole, "we, us humans, don't need to know nor understand life's secrets," and that "faith... in the end is all we need". But sometimes, I'd like to have a damn guide book. Yes, the bible... but I'm talkin about an answer or a sign, a yes or a no. A clear concise answer. Is that hard to do? Are us humans undeserving of a simple yes or no? I get it, we'd get lazy, and their for fail and I also get that the way things are... are just fucking perfect! I get it. But just so you know God, a guide book of some sort, a brain, that doesn't tend to forget, worry, doubt and so much more would have been a little helpful for this conquest you so eagerly placed on my heart! EXHALE!!!

At what point do I allow my self to look away from the obvious and and find myself lost again. At what point do I willingly decide to not do what I know is right... and therefor stand where I am now. Was it because I didn't wash the first dish I threw in the sink, or because I left my shoes by the front door or decided to go and purchase another pack of cigs. Or was it when I decided that what was important was no longer even a thought. So now the third dish is in the sink, another pair of shoes by the door, this time I dropped the mail, and o shit... i'm out of cigs. How many pairs of shoes are by the door now? five. How many miscellaneous pairs of clothing are littered from my bathroom to my bedroom? Tons. How man decisions did I partake in that so willing caused me to feel the effects today? I lost count.

I'm at that point, I need a re-start. But what will I do with it. Trash it like the others, or cherish it like Gold.